Blowing Smoke: A movie about poker, cigars, women, and getting screwed

Tuesday
May 13, 2008

Things that have no reason for being

Male Jim Treacher | Category: Movies
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jessica_alba320.jpg

That's Jessica Alba dressed up like Charlie Chaplin for Allure magazine. I don't know why either, but it's fitting because she's better when she doesn't talk:

"[Hollywood] always play[s] up your sexuality, because that's what gets men into the theaters. And I never really gave a s--- about all that stuff! It's nothing to be ashamed of. But it is definitely not what I am about by any means!"

"I don't think I was comfortable with my sexuality until I was an adult, probably, like, 22 -- that's when I stopped apologizing and stopped feeling ashamed. I did the Vagina Monologues in L.A. That made me proud."

Why wouldn't it. Shut up and show off your boobs some more, stupid. Seriously, has there ever been an actress in Hollywood who's dumber than this dunce? I've been trying to think of one, but my mind is almost as blank as hers.

P.S. She actually looks more like Prince there. She'd be pretty hot dressed up like Prince. Er, um, if you like Prince, I mean. In that way. Which I don't. What?

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Comments

At one time, she actually came across as a normal person, but she's said way too many things at this point to prove otherwise. Most hilarious is her insistence on everyone taking her seriously as an actress, and not her looks. Yeah, that's why they pay you $12 MM per picture, sweetie. Go work in off - Broadway for a few years and learn the craft if you're so serious about it. Boo frickin' hoo - take off yer shirt.

Comment by Dmac on May 13, 2008 10:00 AM

She actually looks more like Prince there.

I thought she was supposed to be Adolf Hitler.

Comment by pete on May 13, 2008 11:55 AM

Hell, I just wish she'd knock it off with the dirty blonde hair.

Your hair should be a different shade from your skin, in my admittedly biased opinion.

Comment by mojo on May 13, 2008 5:37 PM

Finally two things I love to fanticize about in one great picture.

Comment by darkurthe on May 14, 2008 2:02 PM

Jim, that is just her herpes talking.

I am sure if she has the bod of a young Rosanne Barr all the same doors would have been open to her amazing range as an actress.

Comment by darkurthe on May 14, 2008 3:41 PM