Blowing Smoke: A movie about poker, cigars, women, and getting screwed

Monday
March 03, 2008

Lisa Marie Presley, please do something about this

Female Jackie D | Category: Women
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When I was a young girl, I thought Lisa Marie Presley was one of the prettiest women I'd ever seen in my life:

lisa marie presley

When I was a teenager, she had one of the most covetable bodies (from a woman's or a man's perspective) I'd seen:

lisa marie's ass.jpg

So you might think that today would be one of triumph for me, as I have come to the conclusion that finally - FINALLY - I am more attractive than Lisa Marie Presley. Alas, alas.

The fact is, this reversal of fortune has taken place mostly because Lisa Marie has let herself go. I mean REALLY let herself go.

oh god

I never thought I'd see the day where I considered posting a "Separated at Birth" where the subjects would be Lisa Marie Presley and Sloth from The Goonies.

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Comments

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh? Like father, like daughter. Yeesh.

Comment by Stephen on March 3, 2008 9:33 PM

Aaaaaah! Send it away!

Comment by Sean M. on March 3, 2008 11:35 PM

Have you seen Debbie Rowe lately? She and Lisa Marie could pass for twins. The lesson (as if we needed to be told): Never marry a Jackson! (Luckily for Jermaine Dupri, he's already a hideous troll. If anything, marriage to Janet will make him more attractive.)

Comment by Jackie on March 4, 2008 1:22 AM

Not to sound too crass (well, yes, I'll sound crass here) but whatever Debbie Rowe looks like now, she had a much shorter fall down the ugly tree than did Lisa Marie, who looks to have hit every branch on the way down. Hard, too.

Comment by Sean M. on March 4, 2008 2:08 AM

Her and Kim Deal.

Comment by Treach on March 4, 2008 4:47 AM

Nooo, that's not really Lisa Marie is it? Damn, I thought you were joking.

As for me, I felt better about myself after seeing those Val Kilmer at the beach pictures. Google them if you dare.

Comment by TRO on March 4, 2008 8:39 AM

Ah, but Kim Deal has talent (when she's not on drugs) - Last Splash is a good album, and her Pixies work still holds up today. Girl can rock.

Comment by Dmac on March 4, 2008 4:59 PM

Here you go. Time is a bitch.

Comment by Treach on March 4, 2008 6:01 PM

She's pregnant.

Besides, her daughter (the King's granddaughter) was doing high-fashion modeling in Europe, like, five years ago.

Just saying

Comment by Crid on March 7, 2008 2:38 AM