One time I was doing an IMDb search trying to find pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt's chesticles, and it said she was in a remake of The Devil and Daniel Webster, playing the Devil. I thought to myself, Huh? Never even heard about that one. Was it on the Hallmark Channel or something? Turned out it had been filmed but was never released, which sounds about right for a movie starring JLH as Lucifer.

Well, according to Page Six it's now being taken out of mothballs, much to the embarrassment of producer/director/star Alec Baldwin:

"The Devil and Daniel Webster," originally shot in early 2001, has been retitled "Shortcut to Happiness" and will open in six cities this Friday the 13th - despite the fact, as Page Six reported several years ago, it's "said to be so bad it is unreleasable." Baldwin's only consolation is that distributor Yari Film Group has yanked his name as director and producer, replacing it with the bizarre pseudonym "Harry Kirkpatrick."

The dude went nuclear on his own daughter over a missed phone call. How do you think he's reacting to this? Well, I'm interested in seeing it, mainly as a reminder of what Baldwin looked like 58 bajillion calories ago. Did you see him at Live Earth?

Apparently he's trying to prove global warming by becoming as round and sweaty as possible.