Sony Pictures has to pay $1.5 mil to moviegoers who went to see their crappy movies with fake critics' blurbs in the ads. Remember that whole fiasco? Well, you can get 5 bucks out of them if you really feel like it. Seems to me it's not worth having to admit you paid good money to see The Animal just because some "critic" you never heard of said it was "Not as bad as you'd think!" But hey, 5 bucks.

In that spirit, here are some fake critics' blurbs for Blowing Smoke. Please note that these quotes are 1) Fake, 2) Ersatz, and 3) Not even real.

• "I had polio, and then I saw Blowing Smoke. What I'm saying here is that Blowing Smoke cured my polio!" -- Bart Flarkery, San Francisco Dominator
• "Blowing Smoke is the culmination of all human endeavor!" -- Susan Higglebaker, KOKK Actiony News
• "Estella Warren is really hot!" -- Jim Treacher, blowingsmokethemovie.com (Okay, this one is real)
• "This movie [is] big... [in much the same way that] donkey dicks [are big]!" -- DarkNite823, IsItNotSplendid.com
• "I was 47 years old, 350 pounds overweight, living in a ditch behind a glue factory, and had just lost a foot to diabetes. Then I saw Blowing Smoke!" -- Jessica Simpson