Via Cinecultist comes word that Statler & Waldorf now have a weekly movie review segment at Movies.com. You know, Statler & Waldorf? The two old farts who sat in the balcony on The Muppet Show and rained down bile on everybody? Inspired an entire generation of hilariously bitter cranks? What am I, 95? Well, their voices don't really sound right to me (might have something to do with Jim Henson croaking), but if you weren't born yet when Carter was president, congratulations. Also, you won't know any better. Maybe it's just the nostalgia talking, but there's something comforting about their steady stream of sub-vaudeville one-liners and shameless mugging. Can puppets mug? I submit that they can.

This week they review Stealth, which... Have I been using the word "stealth" wrong all these years? I could have sworn it meant being quiet and sneaky, like when I pick the lock on the basement door at night and tiptoe into Mother's room to rummage through her underwear drawer. You know, stealth. I didn't think it meant whooshing and clanking and camera-zooming and things kablowie-ing while Jamie Foxx hollers, "Aw naw, you done did it now!" (Maybe he doesn't actually say that in this movie, but why the hell not?) Calling this thing Stealth is like calling that Ray Charles movie Sight.